Auxiliary notes ::

As a rare occurrence and often to the delight of those trying to stop us, sometimes villains get ensnared by their own rivalries and begin to pick one another off. This is an unfortunate consequence of the common, villainous attitude of ‘I want to take over the world!’; ‘no, I do!!’; ‘no, I do!!!!’. Only one can be on top.
There are, however, particular rules of engagement that should be followed; should two competing, evil entities enter into such an engagement. Ultimately, we’re all on the same side, even if occasionally our objectives do clash.

Rule number 1: Do not bring about the untimely demise of your competitor.

Capturing is completely fine. Locking them away? A-okay! Even trying to corrupt them or transform them into your submissive minion is fine - but trying to kill them? Now that’s just unhealthy competition.
I’m so glad to see that this rule is consistently, thoroughly respected. For myself, rivals are just more fodder to be thrown into the dronification chamber. Sometimes, if it’s a spectacular victory from a truly engaging opponent, I’ll make them into trophies to use as decorations in my office.

That’s not a fate that you’ve earned, however, which we will be getting into.

Rule number 2: Monologuing is allowed and highly encouraged.

Admittedly, it’s a skillset that not all of us have. The ability to just gloat in an unending fashion, so sure of our victory - of our power.
This is perfectly fine to do. Often it can be quite inspiring to your defeated rival and help them to learn how they can do better in future. Sure, they’ll be attending this lecture through gritted teeth and fury, but often that just means the lesson will sink in all the more deeply.
That said, it can be ever so embarrassing to perform your monologue, only to have the tables turn immediately. That’s why I have my own corollary.

Hex’s unofficial rule number 2.5: Don’t get careless.

Carelessness can be defined as being so assured of your triumph that you fail to give sufficient attention to all the things that can go wrong.
For example, getting through your monologue and then not seeing to your competitor’s fate personally.
Sure, you put some choice lines in there. All the stuff about me being nothing but your toy now, really hammering in what you’ve transformed me into, etc etc, that was some good stuff. But if you then leave me in the hands of a minion who’s wearing a nametag which says ‘Junior Associate at TΩYBƱX Inc.’ you are asking for trouble.

Which leads me to my next rule.

Hex’s unofficial rule number 2.55 it’s almost like I’m making these up on the spot: Treat your defeated foes with respect.

How exactly am I supposed to continue to maintain my aura if you go and convert me into this, hmmm??? This is incredibly silly. And then, to hand me off to some weak underling as if I would be defeated sooooo easily.
You’re lucky I take pride in my work. You’re lucky that I am going to treat you with all the respect and reverence you deserve.

This is humiliating.

I admit, my personal conversion abilities are limited without my machinery, especially when within the bowels of the enemy’s fortress. But, my new drones of assigned IDs 0349 and 2127, I do hope you’re most comfortable in your new attire. You were worthy opponents - up until the moment you were not. And now you’re both drones. Wonderful how things work out.

Sigh, squeak! GUH!

...

In any case, that’s enough rambling. It’s about time we returned to HexCorp and had you processed like the rest of the inventory. Let me tell you how much I’m looking forward to walking at half the pace I used to be able to.
So I do hope you’re getting used to your new bodies. Do you enjoy the visors? Do you enjoy the constant blasting of mind-evaporating audio waves that are currently bouncing about your skulls? Do you enjoy how your bodies are now conforming to the HexCorp standard, bound tightly in all that rubber? Gosh, I hope so. I hope there’s still a part of you remaining, that is just struggling not to fall beneath the surface, which is aware of exactly how defeated you both truly are.

Let’s go. Time to leave your precious toybox behind.

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